I'm engaged.

AHHHHH. =)

1. Everyone has a business card.
The number I have acquired in the last two months is far greater than my whole life.

2. Everyone has a blog.
About everything. No matter who you are or what you do.

3. Everyone is an artist.
I need to find a way to separate myself, probably utilizing numbers 1 and 2.

4. Shopping, fashion, boots, coats, jewelry, skirts, tights, heels, lipstick, eyeliner, bags.

5. No matter who you are, where you come from, what style you claim, how old you are.. you are a die-hard steelers fan.
And penguins.

6. Beer.
A lot of it.

7. Bikes.
ie. Bicycle.

things here are definitely improving since the last couple of posts.. I still have my moments, but that's all in just getting used to a new place.
last week I went home for the day and came back with my cat. she hated it for a day or two and was real scared, but better now so that's good.

my work schedule is improving like crazy.
reid and I are doing real well. last night was the first I had seen him since last wednesday. not seeing him just sucks. not seeing him many days in a row is worse. I actually hate it.

we're making friends one by one. some of them have my number, so that gives me hope. I can feel the relationships building. and hot metal is growing on me.
let's see.. there's...
chris. he's hilarious. he works at fat heads, went to school for film. has a great heart, and is really down to earth. he seems like he puts it all out there.
cherie and jesse. married six years. (whoa.) cherie is so tiny and fragile looking and jesse is so much bigger (not in a "big" way, he's just a large man.) it's really cute. live on mt. washington. she's so in love with him, and you can tell. she also has this pin-up style (but not in a slut-like way, she's real classy).
scott and bethany. married. scott is an animator, so that's pretty cool. bethany makes plush squids (yep) and sells them on etsy. she graduated with a degree in fibers, how awesome is that?? they love cats, but aren't creepy about it.
derek. not sure what to think about him. he seems like the kind of guy that is either really about jesus or like he's doing things to get attention. there's always something wrong with him too. meh, I shouldn't be so quick to judge.
dylan. he's pretty cool. he's like a foot taller than me. he's just an awesome guy, from what I can tell. don't let his punk-like image throw you off. he is really really serious about god. and he's smart. and he's really really musically talented (I have a girl crush of sorts on him, but just a girl crush haha I wouldn't ever be able to date him I don't think. especially since I found my knight in shining armour). oh, and he's like a foot taller than me.
dennman is dylan's twin. who is also very musically talented, but I don't know much about him.
danielle and justin just had a baby! they're adorable together too. and justin seems like a real cool guy.

as always, I am more outspoken with the boys. I think that bethany might be crafting friends, or that's my vision because I'm laaaaame.

that's enough right now. I'm going to go clean up before reid comes over.

let's just put another little tally under the number of people I know that have lost their lives to car accidents.


let's all ride bikes.
I'm sure one of us would figure out how to fuck that up as well though.

okay,
I can't sleep.

pittsburgh is great, I miss home a lot. that's a secret. I don't miss living in my house, I'm really enjoying figuring this all out. I miss seeing my parents and my friends every day.
a lot.
and talking to adam on chat isn't very helpful. amanda came in saturday night, that was pretty cool. it's nice that I have reid here, we spend a lot of time together but not so much that we smother each other.
I haven't really made friends here yet, we've met some pretty cool people at this bible study. but I feel like they're really nice but really unwelcoming. reid said that maybe they just need to get used to us, but other than going out with them after bible study it doesn't seem like they're going to make any kind of effort to hang out with us. we are, but it can't happen just one way.
it's really discouraging.

so the time that I don't spend with reid or at work, I spend it alone. and it's really sort of bothersome. I don't tell reid this, or not all of it anyway, because I don't want him to worry so much. he already has enough stress because of work.
I don't know how to calm him down, and it really does bother me. I know he has a great heart for people and I know he's intelligent and knows nursing in and out. sometimes I think his nerves hold him back though.
he stresses out so easily, but I have to try to remember what I would be like if I had to keep track of the health of three people. I have to remember how hard of a job it is.



to be continued.

everything is different. and that's all I really want to say.

other than it has taken me one week and two days to feel "at home" at my home. in my little (studio) apartment wedged on todd st in the borough of wilkinsburg-also-known-as-the-ghetto it has taken me until now to be satisfied with my decision to live here. by here, I mean where my apartment is. NOT in pittsburgh.

as an after-thought for next time I apartment hunt: don't live in wilkinsburg.
and don't let companies tell you it's regent square. which is, in all actuality, 100% better than here.

oh, by the way, the buildings are dilapidated falling apart and probably infested with homeless people, crazy people and/or gangs (just to spice things up) about a block from my building.
also, when I got home about an hour ago there was some guy standing outside my building (it's a secure entrance with an "unbreakable" glass door (it doesn't really make sense to have a secure GLASS door)). I think he was waiting for someone. in any case, I unlocked the door and pulled it shut behind me. thus locking him out.
oops. hope you weren't trying to get inside.

another side note is that when it monsoons here, todd street becomes a river.

I
love
brick
roads.

my
camero
does
not.

why do we do what we do? Why do we take blatantly black-and-white and paint it gray? why are priceless mores trashed while senseless standards are obeyed? what causes us to elevate the body and degrade the soul? what causes us to pamper the skin while we pollute the heart?
our values are messed up. someone broke into the store and exchanged all the price tags. thrills are going for top dollar and the value of human beings is at an all-time low.
one doesn't have to be a philosopher to determine what caused such a snag in the market. it all began when someone convinced us that the human race is headed nowhere. that man has no destiny. that we are in a cycle. that there is no reason or rhyme to this absurd existence. somewhere we got the idea that we are meaninglessly trapped on a puny mudheap that has no destination. the earth is just a spinning mausoleum and the universe is purposeless. the creation was incidental and humanity has no direction.
pretty gloomy, huh?
the second verse is even worse. if man has no destiny, then he has no duty. no obligation, no responsibility. if man has no destiny, then he has no guidelines or goals. if man has no destiny, then who is to say what is right or wrong? who is to say that a husband can't leave his wife and family? who is to say you can't abort a fetus? what is wrong with shacking up? who says I can't step on someone's neck to get to the top? it's your value system against mine. no absolutes. no principles. no ethics. no standards. life is reduced to weekends, paychecks, and quick thrills. the bottom line is disaster.

"the existentialist," writes existentialist Jean-Paul Sarte, "finds it extremely embarrassing that God does not exist, for there disappears with him all possibility of finding values in an intelligible heaven... Everything is indeed permitted if God does not exist, and man is in consequence forlorn, for he cannot find anything to depend on within or without himself."

if man has no duty or destiny, the next logical step is that man has no value. if man has no future, he isn't worth much. he is worth, in fact, about as much as a tree or rock. no difference. there is no reason to be here, therefore, there is no value.
and you've seen the results of this. our system goes haywire. we feel useless and worthless. we freak out. we play games. we create false value systems. we say that you are valuable if you are pretty. we say that are valuable if you can produce. we say that are valuable if you can slam-dunk a basketball or snag a pop fly. you are valuable if your name has a "Dr." in front of it or a Ph.D. on the end of it. you are valuable if you have a six-figure salary and drive a foreign car.
value is now measured by two criteria: appearance and performance.
pretty tough system, isn't it? where does that leave the retarded? or the ugly and uneducated? where does that place the aged or the handicapped? what hope does that offer the unborn child? not much. not much at all. we become nameless numbers on mislaid lists.
now please understand this, this is man's value system. it is not God's. His plan is much brighter. God, with eyes twinkling, steps up the philosopher's blackboard, erases the never-ending, ever-repeating circle of history and replaces it with a line: a hope-filled, promising, slender line. and, looking over his shoulder to see if the class is watching, he draws an arrow on the end.
in God's book, man is heading somewhere. he has an amazing destiny. we are being prepared to walk down the church aisle and become the bride of Jesus. we are going to live with him. share the throne with him. reign with him. we count. we are valuable. and what's more, our worth is built in! your value is inborn.
you see, if there was anything that Jesus wanted everyone to understand it was this: a person is worth something simply because he is a person.

-Max Lucado No Wonder They Call Him Savior p.15-17

thanks, max lucado for writing it out that way.
my value is inborn.
just because.
I just need to constantly remember that.

I only work for 4.5 hours because my boss is punishing me for having a separate life and moving on.


in other, better, news: I move in 15 days (and counting).

yahoo.
I'm really excited to have all my own stuff.

I am moving in exactly one month from today.
Reid moves next weekend.. things couldn't get more perfect. Now if only he would ask me to marry him.

The last time we talked about it I told him I wanted a fake ring.
And last night was more than perfect.

That's all :-)

My sister being home really brings out the best in me...

grow up. Maybe you should have figured out your life before you decided to have kids. Wow what an amazing idea.